Australia: From Reef to Penguins

We're down to the final week of Claire's two week visit. Already we've covered Sydney over New Year and the iconic, beautiful Uluru. This week we're in Cairns where I hope not to have a panic attack while snorkelling and then moving on to Melbourne. Here's how it went.

Delicious kangaroo

We spent a chilled first day in Cairns. Partly because there isn't all that much to do in Cairns itself and partly because we woke up late. Still, we did manage to go for a walk down the Esplanade while Claire was catching Pokemon.

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And also visited the little regional art gallery, which had these amazing insect kaleidoscope things.

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And where I picked up a new journal, because I'm running out of pages in the current one and that was only supposed to be a temporary one while I found a nice one... babbling, sorry.

Finally, the supermarket where I really didn't feel like pasta again. So we picked a sweet potato, some salad and kangaroo steaks. Ah yes, kangaroo. One of the few red meats I really like. Delicious and lean. Best self-cooked tea I've had in a while.

Finding Nemo

On Sunday we boarded a boat to take us out on the Great Barrier Reef, which was pretty much the entire reason we were in Cairns. Last time I was in Australia I tried to do the same but had a panic attack almost as soon as I got in the water - I've never experienced anything quite like it and I didn't really want a repeat this time. So I paid close attention to the crew's instructions, donned my stinger suit, snorkel and flippers, grabbed a floatation noodle and took a deep breath.

Apparently I needn't have worried this time. Whether it was because there was little to no current around the boat or whether the noodle was reassuring, I don't know, but I actually got to see the reef from the water this time. Claire and I went halves on an underwater camera, so we also managed to get some good photos. I say we... the camera was hired in Claire's name, so she had to do all the photography. Here's Nemo.

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And here is a fish I have named the stripy pyjama fish. If someone can tell me what it actually is, that would be cool.

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And here is the obligatory stupid selfie. Well, it would be, but Claire told me I'm not allowed to post any of the photos of her, so here instead is a photo of me taken by Claire.

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Hamster face, much. We also took a trip on the semi-submersible, which was awesome. Claire left me in charge of the camera for that one, which is how come I managed to miss the one turtle we saw on this trip. I promise we saw a turtle. I thought I had it in a photo, but it must be camouflaged or out of shot because I can't find it now. Gah.

After a day in and out of the water, we were pretty knackered and Claire had managed to get sunburnt. So we trundled back to the hostel via Pie Face for tea. Nom.

Pancakes? Or Nandos?

An afternoon flight to Melbourne had us arrive just in time for tea. After raiding the info area at the hostel, Claire found some money off vouchers, including one for a pancake place that was apparently just down the road. So we went for a wander in search of pancakes. We found the mall. Couldn't find the pancake place. We were pretty much ready to give up when we spotted it and then decided we weren't really in the mood for pancakes.

We ended up at Nandos instead. That is as thrilling as our day got.

In other news, the hostel we booked is a money grabbing bastard. Anything it can charge for, it will - WiFi, luggage storage... yeah. Oh, and one plug socket for a room of four people? Not acceptable.

What time is it?

We had planned on getting up at a reasonable time so we could go and explore the city. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten to account for the time change, so while I thought we were getting up around 9, it was actually an hour later. And by the time we'd stumbled around with breakfast, the original plan had to be adjusted. No worries.

First stop, Queen Victoria Market, just at the end of the road our hostel was on. It's a strange mix of Sunday market tat and really nice stalls. I spent far too long going through every single shot at a photographer's stall, especially when I realised he had some gorgeous photos of Tasmania. I may have gone back and bought one...

We headed next to Melbourne Museum, before I could buy more photos. The museum is pretty awesome and has an excellent collection of local Aboriginal artefacts and art.

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It also has dinosaurs and other, more recent megafauna, like Megalania, the biggest terrestrial lizard... ever, pretty much.

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I feel I should point out that dinosaurs and crocodiles aren't lizards, just in case someone plans on trying to correct me. If we're being pedantic, mosasaurs were lizards and they were bloody enormous even compared to Megalania. But they were aquatic.

Random aside aside, the museum also has a very cool geological collection, including this rock which contains zircons accepted to be among the oldest crystals on Earth.

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Most of the early crust has been recycled so many times that there's nothing left of the early surface and thus not much to use to determine the age of the Earth. Crystals like those zircons survive the melting process. They're a link to the very earliest days on this planet. I think that's pretty cool.

Science geekery aside, we moved on from the museum at kicking out time and hopped on the free City Circle tram. The commentary was hit and miss, but it was free, so musn't complain. Unfortunately, the tram stops at 6pm and instead of stopping somewhere in the centre, it stopped out in the Docklands. Really clever. No warning. Just. "we're terminating here. All change." Thanks, mate.

Fortunately, trams in the CBD are free, so we hopped on another and got off near the state parliament to have a look at St Patrick's Cathedral.

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And the lovely Fitzroy Gardens.

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And then back on another tram to take us back to the other end of the CBD where we had tea in a little Japanese place called Menya. I assume it to be good Japanese food, because there were a lot of Japanese people eating in there. The tonkatsu ramen was delicious.

Come in, we have wine!

The following morning, I awoke to Claire tugging on my duvet with a worried look on her face. My alarm was going off right next to my head and I'd been ignoring it. Apparently Claire was worried I was dead...

Not really with it, we piled out of the hostel and onto another bus with an overly chirpy guide. Yay... My mood improved a bit when we stopped for morning tea and I finally got some caffeine in me.

It improved even more when we got to Gibson Steps and finally hit the Great Ocean Road, which was the whole point of this day trip. Our guide was doing it in the opposite direction to most so that we'd avoid the crowds.

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Bit windy at Gibson Steps. It wasn't quite so bad at the Twelve Apostles, but then again there were bigger crowds there. Managed to get some all right photos though.

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From there to Loch Ard Gorge, named after the Loch Ard which struck rocks just outside the gorge and sank in the 1800s. Only two people survived and they took shelter in the gorge. It's a beautiful place if you can get rid of the people.

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Onwards down to Mait's Rest for a walk through the rainforest. Pretty trees - Eucalyptus regnans, some of these, the tallest flowering plants in the world. I think Tasmania lays claim to the tallest ones though.

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Next stop, Kennett River to go koala spotting. Very little effort involved - there's one in every other tree, although I think Claire spotted them easier than most of us.

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Still toddling onwards Next stop Fairhaven Beach. It's a beach. Nothing special.

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There's also the memorial arch to the men who built the road.

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Final stop of the day was at Torquay where it was pizza for tea. Delicious pizza. And then back to Melbourne. The Queen Victoria Night Market was on, so we had a wander through there in search of souvenirs and other delicious things. The night market is much more craft oriented than the main market, but we didn't find anything that interesting.

On the short walk back to the hostel we passed a sign advertising a garage sale. Slowing down to read it, we were accosted by a woman from inside who invited us in and offered us wine. Bizarre. Still, we had a look and, seriously, it was like we'd just fallen through the looking glass or something. We went in expecting to go, oh, right, garage sale and then sod off. But the place just kept going.

Turns out it's a studio space, so there was loads of art around and when we found an exit, we ended up in the Blender Lane Artist Market. I didn't end up buying anything, but I picked up plenty of cards - these guys are all on Etsy and the like and I fully intend to check them out properly when I get the chance.

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Pengwings

First stop of the day - State Library, where I once again started daydreaming of having a library like this.

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After that it was back to the hostel in time for our pick up. This time we were heading out to Phillip Island to see Little Penguins. Or pengwings, for which please refer to this clip from the BBC documentary South Pacific.

However, the penguins wouldn't be coming ashore until after 9pm, so we had plenty of time for other stops. First of these was Tooradin for lunch and also for watching very evil looking pelicans.

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There was also a ray of some sort, but I didn't get a photo. From Tooradin on to Maru Koala & Wildlife Park, where we got to feed some kangaroos. Not quite as clingy as the ones at Bonorong, but very sweet.

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Claire got bitten by a pony... And then on to Phillip Island itself where we stopped at Cape Woolamai beach for a while. It was hot. I drank tea.

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Then to Cowes for tea. What is it with stealing our place names, Australia? I've actually stayed in Cowes before - I spent the very short drive down the main road trying to remember where the holiday home was located. I failed. Tea was good though. Seafood box for me, souvlaki for Claire. Delicious. Filling.

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Stuffed with chips and seafood, we got back on the bus and drove down to the Nobbies, where we spotted our first penguins. These are the only ones I have photos of because there's a ban on photography at the landing site.

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The sun going down over the Nobbies was pretty spectacular as well.

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And finally on to the "Penguin Parade". This is a tourist trap, but for most people it's the only time they're going to see Little Penguins. The critters come ashore after sunset in little groups, hurry across the beach as fast as their little legs will carry them and then have to clamber up the hill to get to their nests. Considering their legs are only a few inches long, I think that's pretty impressive.

And so back to the bus and back to Melbourne, where I fell into bed.

Such a child

And so came Friday and Claire's final day in Australia. We made the most of it, starting with a pancake breakfast using those money off vouchers Claire had picked up earlier in the week, before heading down to Federation Square to check out the ACMI - the Australian Centre for the Moving Image. Last time I was there they had an amazing Disney exhibition. This time it was these guys.

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Yes, they're fish shaped helium balloons. We spent far too long punting them around, trying to race them, seeing how many we could get airborne at once and generally embracing our inner children. It was great fun. I'm sure there's supposed to be some sort of serious art message behind them, but mostly it was fun.

The permanent exhibition at the ACMI is big on the interactive stuff, which is always great. So we played around with video games - Claire relieved the 90s with Tomb Raider and I tried to get my head round the console controls for Minecraft. We also attempted to create a bullet time sequence a la The Matrix. Unfortunately, we had no idea what to do and completely mistimed it...

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Yeah... that didn't really work. From the ACMI we moved on to the Ian Potter Centre, part of the National Gallery of Victoria and home to its collection of Aboriginal Art. At least, I thought it was, but I couldn't find it.

Feeling peckish, we went in search of lunch via the souvenir shops, ending up at a little Vietnamese place where I introduced Claire to the joy of pho. I love pho. I can't wait to get to Vietnam and try it there.

After lunch we meandered back to the hostel, where all that was left to do was wait for Claire's shuttle back to the airport. We said our goodbyes and then I went in search of a tram to the bus station. And completely screwed it up. I ended up going back on myself and then still having to walk 10 minutes. Not sure how I managed that one...

And then I spent the best part of two hours sitting at the bus station, eating pie and being bored out of my tiny wee skull. Also dreading the bus journey. I'd opted to take the bus overnight from Melbourne to Adelaide. I've taken plenty of overnight buses on this trip, but the first one I ever took, back when I was studying in Tasmania, was the Greyhound from Adelaide to Melbourne and I didn't sleep at all. I really didn't want to do that again.

So bye-bye to Claire and hello again to solo travel. Next week I'm going to be in Adelaide before catching a flight to Perth. There's a few places I want to revisit in Adelaide itself, but more than anything I want to check out Kangaroo Island.

First I have to survive this bus journey...

Australia: New Year, airport mayhem and the Red Centre

After Christmas with relatives, my friend Claire has arrived in Australia for a 2 week jaunt around the highlights, starting with New Year's Eve in Sydney. Coincidentally, that's also her birthday. Here's what happened over that week.

We've been here 9 hours, you bastards

New Year's Eve/Claire's birthday began with a trip to Pancakes On the Rocks, a cafe in the Rocks that specialises in, you guessed it, pancakes. What better way to start a birthday than with pancakes? Although, it being before lunch time, we opted for the savoury variety instead.

Nicely full of carbs, we had a wander around the contemporary art museum. Just as odd as any other modern art museum.

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At this point, it was slipping past noon, I thought we should probably be trying to find somewhere to sit and wait for the fireworks. I'm not sure Claire understood just how busy it was going to get, so instead we tried to visit the Botanic Gardens, but they were shut because of the fireworks and the public viewing area there was already full.

Yeah, New Year's in Sydney? Madness. Instead we went back to Observatory Hill which was already getting busy but promised to be quieter than other areas because there was an alcohol ban and the capacity was lower.

And so we sat on the grass and waited.

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And waited.

And waited some more.

For nine hours. Well, not quite that long for the first batch of fireworks, after which a few people with little kids slotted off.

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But nine hours for the midnight fireworks. As it turns out, we had quite a good spot, being up on the hill. You could see up and down the harbour and the Harbour Bridge was near enough straight in front of us. But you can only do so much about the people around you and as the countdown hit midnight, a bunch of Germans pushed their way in front of us.

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And this is why most of my photos of the fireworks have huge heads in them. Ignorant bastards. I was tired. I'd been waiting on prickly grass for hours. I was not in the mood to be charitable and I'm still not. It doesn't hurt to be polite.

I think Claire enjoyed the fireworks though...

Where did the morning go?

The following day, I woke up around 9am. Said fuck it to getting up. Woke up again around 11am. Thought really hard about getting up...

In the end, we didn't leave the AirBnb until well after noon. We'd wanted to do Taronga Zoo and determined not to completely waste the day, we hopped on the ferry and arrived at the zoo about 2 hours before closing. I don't think we did too badly - we made a rough plan of what we wanted to see and then whizzed round. Look, a wild dragon.

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And a sleepy red panda.

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And a really dozy binturong.

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Oh, and I finally saw a platypus. Claire has better photos, but this will do for now.

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Yep, not bad for 2 hours. Normally I'd spend all day in a zoo though...

Since we'd slept so long, we didn't really feel like going back to Leichhardt and the AirBnB so early, so we had a wander through the Botanic Gardens in the rain.

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And then hopped on a bus to Bondi, just to see the beach. Also to see if they had any good fish and chips. Here is the glorious sunset over Bondi.

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I can't claim to have tried the fish and chips, because I had calamari, which was delicious. Claire seemed to enjoy hers though.

DO ALL THE THINGS

On our last day in Sydney, we had to be a bit more organised with our time. First stop, the Opera House for our tour. Fascinating, but it lasted longer than I expected. Look at this concert hall - the funny flying saucers are so that the orchestra hear themselves properly. Other than that, the acoustics are brilliant in there.

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I love this architecture.

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With the tour apparently overrunning and our planned train missed, we made a detour to the Queen Victoria Building to see the huge Christmas tree with its Swarowski crystals and all that.

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Finally, we got on the train to Katoomba. Yep, going back to the Blue Mountains. This time I bypassed Scenic World and took Claire straight to the Three Sisters.

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We also took the track down to Honeymoon Bridge, which joins the pillars to the cliff. There were rather a lot of steps...

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Which we then had to climb again on the way back. I must be getting fitter because they didn't seem too bad to me.  Either that or the cola I'd downed before we got on the train was giving me an enormous sugar rush...

Back on the train and home, where we arrived far later than we'd intended and ended up watching the new episode of Sherlock until we realised we had to get up early in the morning to get back to the airport. Sorry, Sherlock. It'll have to wait.

Well done, Qantas

At a time so early I haven't even written it in my journal, we set off for the airport. A bus and a train later and we arrived for check in. It should have been easy. Self-check-in. Done. Simples. Self-bag-drop? Not so much.

I should have known. Way back on the first day of this trip I'd had issues with EasyJet's fancy-ass self-bag-drop system and now in Sydney it was happening again on a much grander scale. This time the entire system broke down. And with all the check-in desks removed to make way for the automated system, there was very little space for the clerks to work the manual back up system. With our flight time fast approaching, we got stuck in a queue waiting while one very apologetic Qantas staff member tried to get everyone's bags scanned and sent through in time, fighting against a system that kept closing the flight because it should have left already.

Somehow, Claire ended up quite a long way behind me and I was told when I got through security that I had to get on the flight. So I sat on the plane, wondering whether she was actually going to make the flight, especially when the cabin crew asked if she was on the plane and didn't seem too bothered when I told them that she'd got delayed by the bag drop break down.

Claire ended up being the last person on the flight. Off we went to Alice Springs, quietly fuming over the mayhem. At least Qantas feed you on their flights - I was in desperate need of a calming cuppa.

On arrival at Alice Springs I collected my rucksack from the carousel and then stood and waited as all the other bags were claimed. A few other passengers were watching with the same sort of rising annoyance we were feeling. Clearly, Claire's bag hadn't made the flight. So we marched over to the service desk, where the poor clerk had no idea what had happened in Sydney and tried to reassure the growing gathering around her desk that their bags would be on the next flight.

The next flight would be the next day. We wouldn't even be in Alice the next day. Fucking hell, Qantas. Well done.

Because of the bag fiasco, we'd missed the shuttle into town and the next one wouldn't be coming in until the afternoon. We ended up sharing a taxi with an Italian couple who were in the same situation and fortunately, it turned out cheaper than the shuttle, otherwise I would've been writing angry emails to Qantas demanding some form of reimbursement for the additional cost...

With our stuff safely dumped at the hostel, we had to go on an emergency shopping trip so that Claire actually had clothes. Something else that'll need reimbursing. At least she could use my toiletries.

And then we spent the evening playing Exploding Kittens and getting attacked by mosquitoes.

Don't piss off a lady with a digging stick

Far too early in the morning we were awake again and climbing onto a nicely air-conditioned bus headed south. Some dozing later, we arrived at Erldunda, which is pretty much just a roadhouse. They do a good cooked breakfast though, which was excellent. They also have some emus, which we tried to feed.

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I say tried, because as soon as the emu pecked at the pellets in Claire's hand, the things flew everywhere and the emu just sort of stared in that stupid way they have.

From Erldunda we moved on another hour or more down the road to Mount Conner Lookout. Mount Conner is a tabletop mountain which is occasionally mistaken for Uluru by unfamiliar tourists. I can assure you, it looks nothing like Uluru.

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Ever onwards to Kata Tjuta, also known as the Olgas, an odd collection of rounded sandstone hills held sacred by the local Aboriginal groups. By this point, the temperature had hit uncomfortable levels, so I was amazed to spot some tadpoles in a puddle.

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A week or so before we arrived in the area, there had been enormous storms and torrential rain. I can only imagine that Kata Tjuta was absolutely dripping, so perhaps tadpoles aren't such a surprise. I wonder where the frogs live when it's dry?

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We took the short walk up the Valley of the Winds, trying hard not to melt and then climbed back on the bus. From Kata Tjuta, we drove back towards Uluru, where our first stop was the Cultural Centre. Fascinating little introduction to the Dreaming stories and songlines connected to Uluru and its importance for the Traditional Owners. I was also sad that there was no way I could afford any of the beautiful artwork in the craft shop.

And so onto Uluru itself. Our guide, Gerry, took us on a few walks, starting with the Mala Walk, which is tied in with the story of how the Mala people were invited to a ceremony by another tribe. Unfortunately, the Mala had already begun a ceremony of their own and once started, such things can't be stopped, so they declined. The other tribe were furious and ambushed them. The story is inextricably linked with a series of marks and gouges on the rock, which are said to represent, for example, the bodies of the fallen Mala men, the ceremonial pole they were erecting and the tracks left by the Mala women as they ran to warn the men.

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Aboriginal mythology never ceases to amaze me with how strongly it's tied into the land. It makes a hell of a lot more sense to me than most other oral traditions.

From there, we visited Mutitjulu waterhole, where the woma python woman, Kuniya, confronted the poisonous snake man, Liru, over the death of her nephew. In vengeance, she struck him with her digging stick as was her right, but then she hit him again and again until he died, which is at odds with traditional law. You can see the marks left in the rock from the force of the blows above the waterhole.

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The waterhole itself is a beautiful, quiet spot. Strange to think that not long before we visited the water was up above the platform because of all the rain.

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And then back to the carpark to have barbecue and wait for the sunset. Delicious kangaroo sausages. Not so delicious rahs who turned up just before sunset and spent all their time taking ridiculous Insta-ready photos. Claire and I had delightful fun snarking about them. By all means, come and enjoy the view, but these guys were dressed for a night out clubbing. I'm stereotyping like hell, but I got the impression none of them really appreciated how important Uluru is, they just wanted to take photos and say they'd been there.

Once the rahs got out of the way, I did manage to get some reasonable photos of the sunset. Claire had kindly brought my better camera back from the UK, but I don't think it made too much difference to how gorgeous Uluru looks in this light.

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And then back on the bus for the very long drive back to Alice Springs. Why on earth did we decide a one day trip was a good idea?

Is that flowing?

Since we didn't get back to Alice until gone 1am, we felt entirely justified in having a lie in. Once we'd grabbed some lunch, we had a mooch around town. Poked about in one of the many Aboriginal art galleries, but since we'd not left the hostel till quite late in the afternoon, we only got there just before closing. We made plans to return.

On the way back to the hostel, we stopped to take some photos of the river. The Todd River through Alice famously spends most of its time with no water in it. It had had pools when we arrived, but to our surprise, when we stopped this time it was actually flowing. In fact, it was filling - you could tell it must have rained further upriver and the water was slowly making its way down through the town. Pretty cool.

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Oh, and Claire's bag had arrived from the airport. At least you got that right, Qantas.

Snake in the hair

On our final day in Alice, we went on a mission to find some Aboriginal art that we could afford. This meant going in pretty much every gallery along the main strip before we finally found some small canvasses within our price range. And then spending forever in the gallery going through every single canvas in search of a favourite.

It was like trying to pick out a pounamu pendant in Rotorua all over again. I eventually pulled one out that I loved. Eventually. There were several others I'd quite happily have bought as well if I'd had the cash.

Art purchased, we mooched off to the Alice Springs Reptile Centre to while away the afternoon. That was great fun, especially the handling session. First up, the wriggly Gremlin, a bearded dragon.

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He didn't want to sit still with me. Apparently I wasn't tree like enough. Still, his friend Nora the Blue-Tongue was much more docile.

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And finally, Angel the Olive Python. Claire didn't want to hold her - something about ears. Her fear might have been well founded, since Angel first managed to get herself tangled through my plait and then stuck her tongue in my ear. Repeatedly.

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Riding a delightful endorphin high from getting to touch pretty animals, we headed back to the airport and hopped on our flight to Cairns. A fairly small plane - one of those funny ones with two seats on one side and three on the other, which led to the coining of the ridiculous insult "you're a lop-sided plane".

Cairns was wet. And hot. We slept.

Ooh, a neat place to finish for once. In the next installment of "weird-journal-blog-thing-what-Zoe-does-so-she-doesn't-forget-things" we're in Cairns for the Great Barrier Reef before heading off to Melbourne for... whatever it is people do in Melbourne.

There may be more penguins involved...

Australia: Christmas, caves and Claire's arrival

After leaving Tasmania behind, I'd taken up residence with my Uncle Les in Mittagong, south of Sydney, so that I could spend Christmas with family. So far we'd retrieved my grandad from the airport and visited the Blue Mountains. Somehow, I am dealing with living with two grumbly, but lovely old men.

Leftovers for tea again

A lovely, relaxed Christmas Eve morning was balanced by an afternoon drive around the area with Linda and her younger son while Uncle Les did... whatever it is that needed doing for the Christmas meal. First stop, Avon Dam, with pretty views.

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And then on to Nepean Dam, which also had lovely views and also the somewhat disconcerting sound of thunder closing in...

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Finally a quick stop at a small animal sanctuary, where the wallabies were sensibly trying to shelter from the incoming storm.

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And so came the storm. Pretty sure it's The Storm, the one that follows me around. It certainly seemed angry enough.

And then sleep. Always, sleep. Oh, and reading of that Pratchett book I picked up, which is rather good.

Merry Christmas!

There isn't a whole lot to say about Christmas. It's a big family affair with my uncle, not like the quiet thing I have at home. Still, there was enough food to last out a zombie apocalypse and Secret Santa brought me cider. All round, a pretty awesome day.

I don't think I've eaten that much since I left the UK... So stuffed.

It's not that far

On Boxing Day, Uncle Les took us to Morton National Park, where I had to deal with the ticket machine because after 5 minutes of watching my uncle and grandad struggling with it, I thought I'd best do something. Not entirely sure what they were doing wrong, but it worked first time for me...

First stop, the Echo Point lookout, over this beautiful valley.

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And then to the Wishing Well, which is clearly a man made hole in the rock and not really what I was expecting.

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Finally, a short walk down to the old Erith Coal Mine. And I mean short. The sign said something like 1.2k return. OK, so it's down a big old hill, but it's not very far.

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The mine is all shut up, but some of the props still seem to be in there.

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Apparently there used to be a railway running to the cliff edge above the mine and they'd hoist the coal up there instead of having to cart it out by the hill. The hill which we then had to climb again. The way my uncle described it afterwards, you'd think we'd walked miles...

And then Christmas leftovers for tea. This is going to become a running theme.

Do you think it likes eggs?

The following day, Linda rescued me from another day of grumbling by taking all three of us on a trip to Wombeyan Caves.

Access is via a dirt road, which initially I thought was total awesomesauce. An hour or more in, I started getting travel sick, courtesy of all the twists. Urgh. Nice. Fortunately we weren't too far from the caves and once I got out of the car I was fine. Besides, one of the first things I spotted was this goanna.

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I'm a huge Disney fan. Rescuers Down Under is one of my favourites and so of course I started stalking this goanna, calling it Joanna and asking if it wanted eggs. I don't think anyone heard me...

First stop, Victoria Arch. Pretty.

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And then on to our guided tour of Wollondilly Cave with the excellently named, somewhat insane, John Mango. Here, have a slightly out of focus photo of the prettiness inside the cave.

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And maybe another?

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It was nice and even better because it was cooler than outside and had no winged demons to bite me. Ultimately, though, I've seen more interesting caves.

And so back onto different dirt road back to civilisation. Via McDonalds where I filched the free WiFi and tried to find out when Claire was arriving on Thursday and how to get into our AirBnB. I hate being so reliant on WiFi.

And so to sleep.

Um... I have control?

On my last day in Mittagong, my uncle's brother-in-law offered to take me and my grandad on a little sightseeing flight over the area. He co-owns a small plane and teaches folks to fly, so I thought this was a great idea.

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I was not expecting to get to fly the damn thing. But a minute or two into the flight, having explained how the basic controls worked, Ken told me I could have a go. So I hesitantly confirmed that I had control and that was it.

I flew a fucking plane.

I thought it'd be for a few minutes, but I had control for the entire flight up until landing. It was both terrifying and pretty damn awesome.

This would also explain why I have precisely zero photos from the plane, but plenty of us on the ground. Look at me, looking stupid in the pilot's seat...

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She's a cool little Piper. Wouldn't mind having another go. Cheers, Ken.

Apparently nothing else on this day even came close to making an impression on me, because all my journal says after "I flew a fucking plane! :)" is "not sure what else happened here?"

I hear a Northern hemisphere accent - would you like some ice?

After my flailing with Macca's WiFi a couple of days prior, Claire had managed to text me late on the Thursday night (my time) to tell me the flight was delayed. Unfortunately, by the time I got that text, Grandad and Uncle Les had already gone to bed with the intention of getting up early to accompany me to the airport. This despite my assurance that I was more than capable of getting on the train on my own. Bless.

So we left early, drove to the station and hopped on the train. I believe my uncle was going to take my grandad into Sydney for the day, but I never got confirmation on that. I honestly thought the pair of them were going to cry when I got off the train at the airport after hugs and goodbyes and being pressed with more coffee money than I could ever need. It had been a really lovely week being surrounded by almost-familiar people instead of the constant stream of strangers you get travelling.

Still, I was going to retrieve Claire and that meant another two weeks of familiarity. Despite the delay to her flight on leaving, she arrived near enough on time and after acquiring an Opal card for her and topping up mine, we hopped on the train into the city.

I hadn't thought it through. Normally, I'm pretty good with public transport. I'd figured we'd get the train out to Lewisham, the nearest stop to our AirBnB rental and then get a bus from there.

There was no bus. Claire was melting in the 35 degree heat, which coupled with her jetlag was not great. In the end, I had to use a payphone to call a taxi, which took us the 10 minutes down the road to the AirBnB.

At this point, all should have been well. The info I had from our AirBnB host implied that someone would be home to let us into the annex. No one answered the door. For ages. So we went round the corner to a cafe so I could grab some breakfast and Claire could rehydrate. Going from freezing in the UK to melting in Australia can't have been much fun.

In the meantime, I sent a message to our host to say that we were having trouble getting in and promptly received a call back to say that her brother should be around to let us in. So we tramped back and tried again. Still no response. I even tried sticking my hand through the gate to see if I could open the lock. Apparently even my hands were not skinny enough for that.

Meanwhile, Claire's melting into a puddle in the front yard. We'd already tried the neighbours to see if they had a number for the brother, but had no luck. After a while, the neighbours appeared again, said hi and came out with a line that made my day.

"I hear a Northern hemisphere accent. Would you like some ice? And some water?"

Thank you, unnamed neighbours. Having saved Claire from completely disintegrating, I sent our host another message regarding our inability to get in and was delighted when she got straight back to me with instructions to get into the key box. More than an hour after we arrived, we finally got in.

With the day rapidly wearing away, we refreshed and caught up and then headed off to find some food. Ended up at a little Italian place at the end of the street where I had the most delicious gnocchi with gorgonzola. So good.

And then Claire passed out on the bed when we got back. Poor thing.

Of course we need funny shaped ice cubes...

With Claire feeling a bit better the following morning, we caught the bus into the city and went for a wander.

First stop, Darling Harbour, which was busy and also home to a visitor centre selling koala, kanagaroo and Australia shaped ice cube trays. With the temperature still in the 30s, we decided we might have to come back and buy them. We resisted for a while though, mooching off around the harbour with the aim of getting to the Rocks, one of the oldest parts of Sydney. Passed the Harbour Bridge on the way.

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We had a wander around the Rocks before popping into the Opera House to book a tour. Hey, we can't afford to see a show there (and I don't think we were interested in anything that was playing), so the next best thing is a tour, right?

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Then on to the Rocks Discovery Museum, which was kind of interesting and also free, which is always a bonus.

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Onwards, up to the Observatory where I geeked out about science things and we also got to go into one of the telescope domes.

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At this point, I was amazed that Claire hadn't completely collapsed from the heat and residual jetlag. I think it started kicking in on the way back to the bus stop though, when we had to stop for gelato.

And then well and truly collapsed when we got back to the AirBnb. Oh dear.

Plenty of sleep needed, because next we have New Year's Eve in Sydney to negotiate as well as Claire's birthday. A few more days in Sydney and then we're flying to Alice Springs in preparation for our trip to Uluru.

You think Sydney's hot? Ain't seen nothing yet...

100 Days, 100 Things: Days 41-60

This is part 3 of my attempts to note down something interesting, new, weird or stupidly mundane each day in the countdown to finishing work before I set off on my round-the-world Grand Tour adventure. Things are getting both more mundane and more interesting. How this is even possible, I have no idea...

41. Thursday 14th April - made pho.
Having tried the Vietnamese noodle soup at Pho in Manchester, I decided to have a go at making it myself. My attempt at chicken pho turned out pretty nice, especially with the pile of beansprouts I dumped into it!

42. Friday 15th April - pasta bake?
Looks like nothing interesting happened on this day. First pasta bake in a couple of years was as exciting as it got.

43. Saturday 16th April - took a walk on Saddleworth.
My mum was supposed to be taking a balloon flight from Bakewell for her birthday but the weather turned against us. Instead, we took the dogs out for a walk on Saddleworth Moor, something we've been meaning to do since Mum moved to Manchester nearly 2 years ago.

44. Sunday 17th April - finally did some proper gardening.
I can't remember what I actually did. Possibly I dug over the veg patch? Or did I put the onions in? Nah... I think the onions went in the week after... Nope. It was this day. Onions, shallots, garlic and potatoes. All going in a bit too late for my liking and none of which I'll have the joy of eating because I'll be on the other side of the globe. All the more for the relatives.

45. Monday 18th April - blogged for the first time in ages.
Which, I do believe, was the last post in this series. You can read it here: 100 Days, 100 Things: Days 21-40.

46. Tuesday 19th April - created an overly detailed packing list.
I almost always use a packing list for holidays and short trips, so I figured I need a super-awesome one for the Grand Tour. After all, how on earth am I going to make it all the way round-the-world if I manage to forget something along the way?

47. Wednesday 20th April - started planning Australian adventures.
Claire got her flights booked to join me in Australia over the New Year, so we could finally start planning what we want to do in those 2 weeks. Too many things to do!

48. Thursday 21st April - overdosed on pretty AirBnB listings.
Falling a little bit in love with AirBnB, especially given how many awesome listings there are for Sydney at New Year.

49. Friday 22nd April - started laying out all the things on the aforementioned packing list.
And started worrying that a) I've forgotten some things and b) it won't all fit in my rucksack...

50. Saturday 23rd April - The Complete Walk.
Took a trip to London with my sister to see as many of the 37 films which made up The Complete Walk as possible. 15/37 - not bad going considering the technical difficulties. So much Shakespeare! And topped off with an evening of Shakespeare on the BBC when I got home.

51. Sunday 24th April - booked my first AirBnB.
Got the accommodation booked for my stay in Sydney over New Year with Claire. A lovely little studio apartment a little way out of the city centre for less than half the price it would have been to stay in a hostel, let alone a hotel.

52. Monday 25th April - fell off the blogging wagon.
Yeah... my attempts to keep blogging regularly are not going so well. Doesn't bode well for me keeping on top of it while I'm away, does it?

53. Tuesday 26th April - booked Australia flights. Poor bank balance.
Sorted out internal flights for the two weeks I'm spending with Claire in Australia, just to make sure we actually end up on the same flights. My bank account doesn't know what's hit it this month...

54. Wednesday 27th April - more jabs.
Back to the doctors to get yet another jab, this time for my Hep B booster. Also got my prescription for anti-malarials sorted, so that's another thing I can stop worrying about.

55. Thursday 28th April - played the bath game with the dogs.
We took the dogs out for quite a late walk because the weather had been foul all day. When we got back, we played the game where I chase them round the kitchen with the towel in an attempt to dry them off. They love it - they get like puppies again. Might not like getting wet, but they really like avoiding getting dry!

56. Friday 29th April - more jabs.
Yet another jab, but hopefully this one is the last one I'll need. Certainly the most expensive - anyone want to explain to me why the Yellow Fever vaccine is so very costly? At least I don't seem to have had any side effects from it yet.

57. Saturday 30th April - dogs on the beach.
Took the dogs down to the beach. They love the beach. Poppy invited herself to someone's picnic and Mum nearly had to pull her out of a bag of crisps. Sneaky sausage dog.

58. Sunday 1st May - "Not even for me?"
Someone let slip to my nanna that I'm going away for a year and now she's spending every time I see her trying to talk me out of it. We have now had such classics as "But I might not be here when you get back!" and "You won't change your mind? Not even for me?" This is exactly why I didn't tell her.

59. Monday 2nd May - fixed my "critical error".
No thanks to Microsoft. My Windows 10 threw up a glitch and basically broke my start menu. Microsoft's fixes didn't work, but the one I used last time this happened did. And Microsoft don't seem to know a thing about it. Thanks, guys.

60. Tuesday 3rd May - uh...
Not a lot happened. Other than a minor freak out when I realised that it's now less than 6 weeks until the Grand Tour kicks off. Yeep.

Excitement is setting in! Less than 6 weeks to go!

The Grand Tour: Whistlestop Australia

Claire, veteran of both the New Zealand and Ireland trips, is joining me for a couple of weeks in Australia over the New Year. This is going to be wonderful and will make a nice change from travelling alone for a while (although I am also hoping to spend Christmas with relatives).

Now that flights are booked, the fun bit of planning can start. I.e. what are we going to do with those 2 weeks? How much of Australia can you see in that time?

This is all rather bounded by the flights that Claire was able to get. It's worked out that we've got 5-6 days in Sydney over New Year, 2/3 days in Alice Springs, 2/3 days in Cairns and 4/5 days in Melbourne. The confusion over numbers of days is because I'm not certain how much time we'll lose because of flights and whatnot.

However, I can safely say that we've got plenty of time in Sydney and Melbourne. Alice Springs and Cairns we'll have to be a bit more organised with our time to make sure we get the most out of it.

I figure there's a fair number of folks who go to Australia for relatively short holidays - 2 or 3 weeks - since that's all a lot of companies let employees take off in one go, plus Oz is expensive. So, here's a very short list of must-do things in Oz which are very much doable in 2 weeks.

1. New Year in Sydney

OK, so this is clearly time dependent, but if you get the chance New Year in Sydney is amazing. Claire and I will be joining the festivities, even more so because New Year's Eve is also Claire's birthday. Someone remind me to find her something awesome... But just picture it: thousands of people thronging the harbour-side, fireworks going off every hour all the way down the river and at midnight that iconic display of fireworks going off over the famous Harbour Bridge. Yep. Pretty awesome.

2. Uluru-Kata-Tjuta National Park

Uluru, formerly more commonly known as Ayer's Rock, is perhaps Australia's most famous landmark, a hulking red monolith looming out of the desert. It is as stunning as the tourist boards make it out to be and the history and culture that surrounds it is fascinating. Nearby Kata-Tjuta, also known as the Olgas, is a similar site and also well worth visiting.

3. The Great Barrier Reef

Need I say more? The largest biological construction (not an organism. Many organisms) on the planet, the reef teems with life and, weather permitting, there's a good chance you'll see something interesting.

4. The Great Ocean Road

Lots of "greats" in this list! The Great Ocean Road does what it says on the tin - it's a road that follows the ocean between Melbourne and Adelaide and it's pretty great. Built after the Second World War to provide work for returned servicemen, it's a beautiful drive and there's a chance of spotting a whole assortment of Australia's quirky wildlife. I think I remember seeing koalas when I took a trip down part of it...

5. Daintree Rainforest

The Daintree is a fragment of one of the most ancient rainforests on the planet and is hugely biodiverse. As someone who studied ecology at university, this is enough to make it amazing even without the beautiful views and the equally awesome wildlife. It's also easily accessible from Cairns, so great for a day trip. Onto the list it goes!


For 2 weeks, I think that's enough highlights. Our only real problem so far has been finding accommodation in Sydney over New Year at a reasonable price. For this, I eventually turned to AirBnB and Claire managed to find a lovely little studio for us to stay in which has cost less than half what it would if we had settled for a hostel, let alone a hotel. So, yes, it's a bit out of the centre, but Sydney has reasonable public transport. In addition, the owner informs us that there's lots of Italian restaurants and some amazing gelato to be had nearby. Bring on the food!

If you had only 2 weeks to see Australia's highlights, where would you go and what would you do? Let me know in the comments!