"It was fine till I fell out the boat"

Motueka hasn't got a lot going for it, but the hostel was nice. We started off with a drive to Kaiteriteri, 20 minutes up the road. The sat-nav, we have discovered, really can't pronounce Maori place names. It is hilarious.

We claimed part of the beach at Kaiteriteri for New Grimsby, complete with flag. We're that cool.

We were actually in Kaiteriteri for kayaking. The last time I went kayaking, which was getting on for 15 years ago, I rammed myself repeatedly back onto the beach and had to be towed off by the instructor. We hoped this was going to be better.

Sophie, our guide, was brilliant. Amy ended up in the kayak with her while Claire and I went in the other. Which was fine until we discovered that the steering pedals weren't quite in the right place and we couldn't really turn properly. Claire also couldn't see past my head so my yelling "there's a rock, TURN!" wasn't helpful.

Anyways, it turned into Amy and the guide paddling serenely along and me and Claire paddling along in a desperate zig-zag behind them. And then the wind started to get up. Paddle harder!

A couple of hours later, having managed to paddle as far as Split Apple Rock as planned, we headed back to the beach. Everyone had acquired aches and pains of some description - blisters on thumbs comes to mind. Landing was fine, managed to paddle onto the beach. And then I stood up to get out of the boat. And a bloody big wave hit the back of the boat. Boat wobbled, I lost my balance and then I was on my arse in the sea. Sodden. Just next to that little boat ramp there:

As I'd got up, Claire in the back had started to take off her spray skirt, so of course when the wave came, she also got soaked. So there's the two of us, soaked and cold and Amy standing on the beach having hysterics. We sent her to get the car while we squelched to the nearest loos. Ugh. Other than that, kayaking was great.

Back in nice dry clothes, we raided the tiny shop for hot chocolate and headed off on the afternoon drive to Picton.

Stopped off at Pelorus Bridge on the way back. Sadly, there were no dwarves, hobbits or lovely lake-men. There was however this sign, which made us giggle.

Then we took a minor detour and went down the Queen Charlotte Drive from Havelock into Picton along the edge of the Marlborough Sounds. Such a beautiful drive, although Claire did have to take over the driving at one point because sitting in the back round all the twists and turns was making her ill.

The ferry was uneventful save for Claire's expected seasickness.

Wellington was windy. Very very windy. Lugging bags back from the car in that was not fun. Also, the hostel was very much an old Travelodge type place that'd been converted. Which meant an en suite bathroom. YAY!

"Bitch slapped by nature"

Bahaha, back so soon. Actually Zoe this time.

So, today we got a really early shuttle to the train station and took a stupid selfie. Oh yeah.

Took the Tranz Alpine across the mountains from Christchurch as far as Arthur's Pass. This involved going in a carriage that was open to the elements and resulted in what Claire termed getting bitch slapped by nature. Most awesome, plus some great pics. Amy managed to almost lose another cup of tea due to turbulence. It seems the Kiwis do tea better than us, which is entirely unacceptable.

Getting off the train and onto the bus was an adventure in itself, what with all the wind and flying metal sheeting. In the words of Dion, our conductor person: "Oh shit."

It was missing down in Greymouth when we picked up the car.Amy took first shift - a nice pootle up to Punakaiki. Lots of photos. Much pretties. Then we had massive burgers in a cafe. We also saw a weka (Google it). Then Amy managed to stall an automatic. IMPRESSIVE.

The car is called Ed. Say hi.

Also, pun of the day: "Sedimentary, my dear Watson."

A final note: whoever designed rail crossings in NZ has no idea what they're doing. They go across the middle of roundabouts. With no barriers. Or lights. Just a tiny sign that says look for trains. Really?


Tomorrow - to the glaciers! Woo!

"I woke up so early it was 2 days ago"

Kia ora!

Several thousand miles and 30  hours later, we have arrived in New Zealand. There are pics of pretty sunrises but they have to be added later because we are writing this on Amy's kindle. Grr.

Here is the view that greeted us as we flew over the Southern Alps.

Um. Things what happened:

• Lots of films were watched.
• Very little sleep was had.
• Amy lost two cups of tea on herself because of turbulence.
• Zoe missed out on tea twice because she was sleeping.
• Dubai drove us around the airport for about 200 miles and then we had to get straight back on a plane.
• There was a moment of despair in Bangkok when we realised we weren't even halfway there.
• We saw Danni in Christchurch airport (when we finally got there) and it turns out she's one of the kiwi fruit police. Her dog is adorable.

This is us being jetlagged. We call it "stupid selfie of the day".
Things what happened on our day in Christchurch:

• Amy was accidentally rude to a German.
• We went to the re-start mall which is made of shipping containers and had a drink.
• Then we wandered around Christchurch which is a bit of a building site at the moment which is sad.

• We went to the new cathedral but we couldn't take pictures because there was a funeral on so we went to PaknSave instead.
• Then we went back to the cathedral and finally took photos.
• Then we had a tour around the museum with Marissa and Amy rode on a pennyfarthing.
• Zoe sodded off and had Mexican with Danni and Amy and Claire played pool and cards.

It has been fun. More posts will follow.

The title is because of a woman in Christchurch airport who claimed they had to get up really early to get on a 9:15 flight from Sydney to Christchurch which lasted 2 and a half hours. Snark.

-written by Amy. Dictated by Zoe.

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

I think the title is fairly self-explanatory. :D

We're going to New Zealand today (actually, I have to ring for two weddings first, with Zoe in my ear going 'WE'RE GOING TO MISS THE PLANE!!!!!') and then we're going to Birmingham and the weather will be glorious and the traffic will be shit (Something about 1.2million people flying out of British airports today, or somesuch waffle) and then we'll get on a plane and Zoe will be an insomniac and Claire will (hopefully) survive and it will be long and dark and they won't stop feeding us (If Emirates are anything like Qantas) and then it will be Monday instead of Saturday and we will be in New Zealand and SNOW. Or at least COLD. YAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!

(Are you noticing a theme here? Zoe's posts are much better put together than mine, I'm just like WRITE ALL THE THINGS!!!!! TELL THE PEOPLE ALL THE THINGS!!!!!)


Zoe's just told me I'm brilliant at blog writing and that when her fingers are tired, I can do it. YAY. Also, she described my blog writing as just BLBLBLFLERGHGHGBLERGH, or something.


Also, I think that the 2 days to go blog should have been a group of things that happened in twos, like the number of times I had to go through my stuff and take stuff out, the number of spare pairs of shoes I have, the number of jumpers I sacrificed to get necessary stuff in my case... The list goes on.

Just popping to the other side of the world (That almost said pooping), brb.

Amy x

1 Day To Go: "Why are you cutting the money?!"

Sooo, this time tomorrow, we will (hopefully) be on the plane to New Zealand. Please ignore the following madness.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!

Right. Anyways. The packing is done. My poor old bear is stuffed uncomfortably into the top of my rucksack. He is not impressed. Amy had a stupid moment and struggled to sort her packing until she realised that her bag is expandable. Div.

I managed to mislay my dollars for a while despite Amy having thrown the packet almost at my face. In my defence, I was busy sorting out my new (massive) memory card for my camera and didn't actually notice that she'd thrown it at my face.

In cutting into the packaging for said memory card, Amy had another silly moment and thought I was cutting up my dollars. Oops.

Even given that mine and Amy's rucksacks are almost full, they're still both massively under the weight limit for the flight. We are the queens of packing. I'm assuming Claire is in a similar situation. Hurray for efficient packing (apart from grumpy teddy bear).

Things left to do: find my flight socks. I forgot to put them on my list of things, so no doubt I'll end up having to buy some in the airport. Ugh. I also need to leave my dad a nice long list of things that need looking after in the garden so that I can come back to a bountiful harvest. Oh yeah. Priorities.

One more sleep till flight. Given my past experiences on long haul flights, probably one more sleep till New Zealand. Ahhh, flight-induced insomnia.

Right. I think that's enough babbling. Prepare for the ridiculous amount of photos which will no doubt be incoming over the next 3 weeks. HELL YES.

In the meantime, have a little slice of silliness in the form of Aussies taking the (gentle) piss out of the Kiwis.

2 Days To Go: Packing? What packing?

2 days to go. Lots of printing has been done and now the useful information folder is sort of bulging and in danger of bursting. I have a functional iPod again, which is wonderful because it means I won't go absolutely insane on the flight from lack of sleep. I am currently much more interested in this than sorting out my packing. Obviously.

So, for 2 days to go... let's have pictures of possibly the two best birds in New Zealand. Because they're cute and fuzzy and generally awesome and I want to see them.

Kiwi

Kakapo

And in case you haven't seen it, here's a video of Sirocco the Kakapo. He's famous.

If I get to see either of these I will be so ridiculously happy. ARGH 2 DAYS.

3 Days To Go: "So Evil They Named It Twice"

What the title says.

ARGH! After so long in the planning, take off is just 3 days away. This time on Saturday we'll be at the airport. I will be having my usual worry about getting earache when we land. Believe me, I will start worrying about this before I even get on the plane - landing earache is painful. I will also be strongly resisting the urge to make highly inappropriate remarks about what might be in Amy's luggage within range of Security.

A soundtrack is also in progress. Mostly consisting of musicals and Howard Shore and Disney and general ridiculousness.

So, 3 days to go. Let us attempt to get Amy and Claire involved in the blog. 3 things we're most looking forward to?

Zoe:

• Hobbits
• Kiwis (the birds and the people and possibly the fruit)
• Catching up with an old friend from uni

Claire:

• Kayaking
• Whale watching
•  Sand boarding

Amy:

•  SNOW!
•  MOUNTAINS!
•  MORDOR! MORDOR! (so evil they named it twice)

Note that Claire has the only serious answers. Coming up in the ever-awesome world of this ridiculous blog: 2 days to go. Also, Beak is excited to be jetting off. Obviously.