Scary Bananas

Very early start because today we are going to Milford Sound. Drag ourselves out of bed at stupid o'clock, stumble into town, wait in the cold.

Told by bus driver that the Milford Road is closed. Bugger. There is no other way to get to Milford Sound so we decided that we'd drive ourselves as far as Te Anau and find something to do there. So we start on what turns out to be an epic road trip.

First we head down the shore of Lake Wakatipu, which would be pretty save for the slightly damp haze. After a 2 hour drive we arrive in a very soggy Te Anau and are given many suggestions for things to do by the helpful lady at the i-Site. We decide that since it's rainy and cold we'll just stay in the car and take a trip down to Invercargill on the south coast. But first, we need food. Which turns out to be an early lunch of pretty much the best venison burger I've ever had. Much yum.

We have decided by this point that the storm from Franz Josef is now following us around the island. Which is shit. It becomes even more shit when it just won't stop raining all the way to Invercargill and twice we have to get out of the car to check that the flooding across the road isn't going to drown us. This, in Amy's words, is scary bananas.

Invercargill, we decide, is like Cleethorpes. A bit run down and sort of dodgy looking. Which means Bluff, the port settlement hanging off the end must be Immingham. We think the Grimsby analogue must have fallen into the sea. The view from the lookout in Bluff looks like this:

We have also started taking "stupid selfie of the day". Have you noticed? This is one of today's.

The drive back up to Queenstown was just as wet, with the added fun of it sort of turning into snow at some points. ARGH. Hopefully the drive to Dunedin tomorrow will be better.

"Diversion Not Applicable"

HURRAY!! Haast Pass wasn't closed, which means we didn't have to take the 12 hour detour. We still got up at a decent time though, which meant we got to have a nice leisurely drive.

The views were amazing. We started off on the coast road down to Haast Township, which took in temperate rainforest and massive cliffs.

Then we hit Haast Pass itself. Huge mountains, beautiful forests and the Haast River winding alongside the road.

As we came to Makarora at the southern end of the pass, the sun decided to make an appearance. We attempted to get some photos at Lake Wanaka, but we got bitch-slapped by nature again, so we fled in the car.

Fortunately by the time we got to Lake Hawea on the other side on the range the rain had stopped, the wind had dropped and the sun was well and truly out. We want to live here.

What should have been a 4 and a half hour drive turned into about 7 hours with all the photo stops we took. It was just that amazing.

We weren't so taken with Queenstown. The hostel there remains our least favourite so far. Cramped and full of drunk people. Ugh.

"Mother of all storms"

So behind with the blogging, so anyone who follows this: be prepared for a massive influx of posts. We've just got reasonable net for the first time in over a week.

First, I should mention Mount Hercules. It's not that big, but the road up it is very windy and absolutely terrifying in the dark. Claire and I had many squeaks going up it on the way from Greymouth to Franz Josef. It wasn't helped by the massive flashes of lightning in the distance.

Sleep that night was interrupted by the mother of all storms. Lightning right outside the room, the loudest thunder I've ever heard and rain which just would not stop. All night. Take note of this - the damn thing turns up again.

Our morning in Franz Josef began with the news that the Haast Pass was closed. This is an issue because we planned to go through the pass to get to Queenstown. The alternative route would take up to 12 hours and involve going over Arthurs Pass. For which there were strong wind warnings of the "gusts upwards of 100kmh" variety. Yeep.

It was also still pissing down. So we headed for the West Coast Wildlife Centre which was fortunately right next to the hostel. It's home to a pair of Rowi, the most endangered species of Kiwi. We named them Tim and Jared and spent far too long watching them snuffling around in their dark enclosure. It was awesome.

Then, a quick call to the guides at Fox Glacier to make sure the trip was still going ahead. Which it was. So we drove down there, trying to ignore the workers at the side of the road clearing up a landslide. Eep. Arriving in Fox Glacier township, we were told that the trip had been changed again because the river was ridiculously high. $20 refund - yay.

The trip itself was amazing, if a bit wet. A lovely walk up to a lookout above the glacier, past the barriers where everyone else has to stop. Spent ages watching the glacier, which was brilliant because it actually broke a few chunks off while we were there. It is the most amazing sound.

After the glacier trip we headed back for another night at Franz Josef, stopping at Franz Josef glacier on the way. Claire and I caught a brief glimpse as we drove up, but the cloud had settled in the valley by the time we got to the car park, so we have no photos. Shame.

And then... more rain and planning for the possible 12 hour detour to avoid the Haast Pass. Oh dear...

Blergh-Carvings-Blergh

Woke up to discover that the snow from the previous night had settled in a nice little icing sugar dusting. Amy had kept her little bit of wood from when we cleared the car in Kaikoura and fortunately the snow hadn't frozen, so it didn't take too long to clear the car.

Ah, the ever-trusty Ead.

Setting off, we finally got a glimpse of Mount Ngauruhoe, otherwise known as Mount Doom. Look.

Impressed. We also got a brief look at Mount Ruapehu and I managed to grab some pics of Mount Tongariro. Woohoo!

And then the sun came out and we got some amazing views of Lake Taupo, which is absolutely massive.

Turns out it was pretty windy and the kayaking trip we'd booked the day before was cancelled. Instead we booked onto a trip on the lovely little boat Ernest Kemp and headed off for a wander to kill some time until then.

Stopped in at the Taupo Museum where it became all the more apparent that Taupo is actually pronounced Toe-paw. Which is odd, but hey. The museum was just big enough to fill the hour we had to spare and had an awesome exhibit of Maori history.

Then we headed for the marina and boarded the boat. Warnings from the skipper regarding the conditions on the lake - basically, it's really rough and his little helper had got seasick on the trip in the morning. Which was worrying.

Setting off, it became apparent just how bad it was. Claire, bless her, got seriously seasick and the skipper sent his helper to leave some "just in case" bags in the cabin. We're talking swells of at least a couple of metres. Amy spent most of the trip grinning manically while I caught myself clinging to the table without realising. Claire just buried her head in her arms so she didn't have to look at anything. My brain went on a mad trip trying to work out why I thought a shallow drafted boat was a bad move in such big waves...


Anyways, we got to the carvings eventually. They're amazing - something like 10m high and carved by a group of local artists in the 70s. Have some pics:

Claire managed to look up just long enough to go "mm, carvings" and then retreated back into her arms. Good job I had strict instructions to take lots of photos.

Heading back towards Taupo wasn't so bad because we were running with the waves. We passed another boat we'd considered going on, a sailing yacht called Barbary. Glad we didn't go with it - looked like they were having an even bumpier trip than us.

Got some awesome views of the Tongariro National Park and its beautiful mountains. The pics aren't so good, but trust me - it was amazing.

After we'd got off the boat and the skipper had checked that Claire was OK (bless him), we headed off up the road to Huka Falls which are apparently the most visited attraction in New Zealand. The place was indeed full of tourists, but the Falls were pretty cool. Behold, stupid photos.

We also got some photos from a lookout at the top of the hill heading out of Taupo.

And then we went to the hostel. Where there was a dog. Called Jess. She was cute.

"The weather stabbed me in the face"

We had considered driving to see Mount Taranaki today, but it was wet and cloudy when we got out of the hostel so we decided against it. Instead we headed into Wanganui to see about booking a kayaking session for when we got to Taupo.

That done, we headed off for Tongariro National Park.

Also known as Mordor.

It rained. A lot. There were also a lot of sheep and a random dog which wandered across the road. The view along the road was pretty good though.

Having dumped the bags at the hostel we decided to brave the weather and head into the national park itself. I should probably point out at this point that there's a whole bunch of Lord of the Rings filming locations in Tongariro National Park, including Mordor. And Mount Doom. Oh yeah.

So anyway, we parked at Whakapapa village and headed off on a walk to Taranaki Falls. Still raining heavily, so we couldn't see any of the mountains.

Fortunately, the sun came out briefly when we actually reached the Falls and we grabbed some silly photos.

Here is the photo of Amy trying to bite Claire's finger off.

Heading back towards the village, we thought we'd have the muffins we'd brought along with us. And of course moments later it started raining ice. In Amy's words, Mother Nature had acquired a knife. It was painful. Seriously painful. Frozen faces, frozen fingers, frozen legs.

We stumped back to the car, making a brief detour to the visitor centre where me and Claire dripped all over the floor. Nice hot showers waited at the hostel and then we spent the evening avoiding the school group which were the only other people in the hostel. We decided we needed some music so I nipped outside to get the speakers from the car.

I had thought it was raining. It wasn't. It was snowing. Ack.

Tomorrow, to Taupo.